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So … No babies yet?

When you’re married, you get the question a lot. “So, no babies yet?” No sir, and I don’t mind. Sure I want to be a dad, and no I don’t want to start too late, but I also don’t want to start too soon. First, I need to be sure if I’m ready to be a dad. Do I have a plan on how to raise them? People say that this will just come automatically, but unfortunately, I’ve seen too many examples of people where, apparently, it didn’t come that easy.

What do I expect of being a dad and what will I expect of my children?Two questions which are answered by many, but in my eyes, not answered ‘well’ by many.

As a parent, you should have children because you want to give the gift of life to new human beings, raised with your values and hoping they will absorb these values. Having children is not a business or an insurance. You don’t have them to make profit or secure your old day. You have them as a project, to see them grow up as good people, starting their own life and then, letting them go as a butterfly out of it’s cocoon.

When I become a dad, I take a lifetime of responsibilities on me. Surely, I hope that with time, that responsibility will get smaller to unnecessary, but in case there is something, even when they’re 50 years old, you’re still responsible as a dad  (or parent in general) and you should be there for them.

Embarrassing parents - swan duckling

Embarrassing parents – swan duckling (Photo credit: @Doug88888)

Another part of my plan is this: no matter how old I get, I want to stay young and fit. I want them not to be ashamed of me. I kinda feel that such a moment will come eventually, but I hope not too early and not too long. Being young and fit (of mind and body), I want to dig holes in the sand, play football on the grass, help them with physical training if they are into sports, support them in singing, dancing and instruments if that’s what they want, be there to answer any life questions for my boys and girls, give them rules and freedom, …

Do I have a plan?
– Yes I do.
Then what’s the issue?
– In 20 years, I don’t want to forget how I feel about this now. How do I know I won’t?